The Sensitive Child – Empath Children, Sensitive Children
Most often the child that parents worry about (until everyone becomes wild teenagers lol) is the sensitive child. The girl or boy who doesn’t stand up for themselves, doesn’t say a firm ‘no’ to peer pressure, and allows bullies to do what they do best – bully them about.
I often hear it asked, ‘What do we do with our sensitive child?’ The real worry being, how will they survive in the wide world? Which we all know is full of sharks, turtle, stingrays and snapper as well as starfish and angel fish! I like to think of the sensitive child as a mermaid or merman. One that is rarely seen, but when we catch a glimmer of these beautiful souls, we are mystified. It’s become a myth that you can be sensitive and survive, and whilst this may have proven true for many I think that embraced sensitivity can be your best asset.
In the playground we start to see little personalities emerge, the boss, the dictator, the princess and the quirky caterpillars. Many parents want their sensitive child to fit in, to make friends and are often left unsure what to do when they come home crying about the bossy friend, or the kids that push in front of them on the slide.
Recently I was chatting to a little such sensitive soul. She told me about the girl at school that bullied her and when I asked, ‘Why she didn’t just tell the bully to shove it and find some new friends?’ She gently explained that the bully had been traversing through painful territory at home, didn’t have any other friends, and that although she was a nasty pasty she didn’t want to hurt her. I was really touched. This beautiful child was thinking about the emotions and suffering of the bully, putting her needs first, and on the sadder side, ignoring her own.
So what can we do to support the sensitive child? I personally feel that starting at home these children do not need strict discipline at all. They don’t need firm ‘no’s’ they instead need lots of ‘yes’s’ lots of ‘I believe in you’ and ‘You can do it’. Where they have a sibling or if conflicts arise between parents and child, they need to know that it’s safe to express how they feel. If they hurt someone they don’t need to be shouted at, simply gently explained to how pain has been inflicted. They are acutely aware of the suffering of others and will naturally show empathy.
They need to know when they make a mistake, no matter how small or tall, they are loved and that everything will be okay. If they are struggling under the rule of strict teachers, talk to the teachers and make them aware of your child’s needs, it’s amazing how far the words of a caring, concerned parents can go to encourage your child to be acknowledged and treated with kindness.
Allow the sensitive child to find a grasp of their own independence. Gently encourage (never force) them to pay adults when out and about. To order their own meals. So they begin to realise that their voice is recognised and heard. Let them rebel when they need to and let them be heard, recognising that sensitive children will suppress themselves if they think it will keep the family and home unit happy. Let them sort their own problems out. When something is stressing them, take them to a new and safe environment, ask how they feel and show them it’s fine for them to create a safety net about their being.
Encourage the sensitive child to make their own decisions, don’t make them kiss and greet the relatives or friends that they may be intimidated by. They are allowed to live in their own safety bubble. This plants seeds of ‘it’s safe to say no’. You see, the safer they feel, the more confident they become to live a life where they honour their hearts, and their hearts are pure as gold and will naturally gravitate to goodness, purity and joy.
Sensitive children are wonderful. Their sensitivities need to be embraced. They are gifts to this planet. We are surrounded by bullies who love to dominate and dictate and the sensitive child has the ability to shift the entire world to a peaceful play centre. They can literally pick up on the emotions of those who surround them so be honest with what’s happening at home, and how you feel others may be using their sensitivities. Explain that their caring and kind nature is a gift and encourage it.
Give the sensitive child ways to create a peaceful inner environment, at home this may be a quiet corner where they can retreat to. Practise EFT tapping with them on whilst they go to sleep at night gently tapping the points for them and allowing worries and fears to come up, be acknowledged and resolved. When you’re out, have a secret signal – perhaps a gentle hand squeeze – that when made you take them no questions asked, out of the environment where they currently are, embrace their sensitivity. Let them choose where to sit in a cafe or what play equipment they are drawn to. A crystal they can hold onto for support is a wonderful pocket companion when they feel anxious at school or parties, etc.
Spend time with your sensitive child. All children want to feel loved by mamma and papa, and when they know that they are acknowledged and loved, they start to shine. If there’s been a divorce or a traumatic event in the family explain it, explain death, have ‘adult’ conversations with them they will get it. Just don’t use them as a channel to bitch or vent about others too, they will take on your pain. But you can let them know if you feel sad, depressed or lonely, its finding a balance, they are going to pick up on the emotions of the whole family, regardless.
The sensitivity of these natural born empaths will guide them throughout life. They just need to learn how to distinguish their pain from another’s. To realise what they feel is important. To listen to their intuition and know it’s okay to follow it – this can lead them on wondrous journeys. To know they are loved and honoured. Most importantly that their feelings are just as important as anyone else’s. When they learn to take care of themselves first they become strong, noble, vibrant beings that bring smiles to the suffering and peace top this beautiful planet.
Your sensitive child is a light that with arms outstretched can bring great peace and love to this world.
Beautiful images courtesy of Josephine Wall